For a long time, I prided myself on being a great planner. A loyal to-do list devotee, I didn’t feel at ease until every box was ticked. On the surface, it looked like efficiency. I was organised, productive, on top of everything. But under the surface, I was constantly stressed. Small irritations would spiral. Days felt jammed and overwhelming. I took this as proof that I was simply busy - a natural byproduct of doing a lot. Stress wasn’t just inevitable; it was, I believed, necessary.

It took me years - and eventually, a simple shift in approach - to realise that wasn’t true.

I started with one small experiment: I tracked my friction points over the course of a week. Every time I felt frustrated, scattered or stressed, I made a note. What I discovered was clear: despite my planning, I was tolerating a huge amount of unnecessary friction.

Mornings were chaotic. Simple things like getting out the door or prepping meals felt harder than they needed to. It wasn’t that life was inherently overwhelming - it was that I was operating inside a system full of hidden obstacles.

From there, I made it simple: For each friction point, I asked: What’s one small change that could make this smoother?

It wasn’t about building the perfect routine or adding more structure for the sake of it. It was about consciously reducing decision fatigue, smoothing the rough edges and being intentional about how I wanted the week to feel.

But the real shift didn’t come from the audit alone - it came from building a practice of continual reflection and action. It’s not a one-time fix. It’s a weekly rhythm of checking in, noticing what’s working (and what’s not), and making small, steady improvements over time.

Here’s how you can start:

FRICTION AUDIT
For one full week, track the moments that make you feel frustrated, scattered or stressed. These are your friction points.

What parts of the day consistently feel hard?
When do you feel most rushed, resentful or out of sync?
Are there tasks you avoid or constantly delay?

At the end of the week, look for repeat stress points. For example:

Mornings feel chaotic
Meal times are rushed
You’re always behind on washing
Admin piles up until it’s urgent

For each friction point, ask:
What’s one small change that could make this smoother?

FRICTION REFLECTION

Where did we feel rushed or stressed this week?
Which moments worked really well and felt smooth?
What took more energy than it should have?
What’s one small change to try next week?

It’s not about achieving perfect, frictionless days - that’s not realistic. But most of our chronic stress isn’t inevitable. It’s often a collection of small, solvable points of friction we’ve stopped questioning.

When you notice them - and choose to smooth them - you reclaim your time, your energy and your calm. One small adjustment at a time.

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